Showing 'show don't tell'

This is not a new idea and this is not a particularly original post, but I am editing my story focusing on the old "show don't tell" mantra. I will do a post a bit later on the 'violence' of editing, but I'd just like to share an example from the first lines of the current chapter I am working on.

It started like this:

"The two men who Eric and Enrende had beaten, bound and gagged seemed to have no idea as to why they had been captured. They protested that they had nothing of value beyond their lives, but Enrende had simply laughed and continued punching them into submission, for it was not their intention to rob these men of their gold, but their clothes."

And became this:

"Enrende grasped the man by the scruff of his neck and punched him in the mouth. The man stumbled and fell against the wall. He was not unconscious but startled enough that Enrende had enough time to pounce and bind this man’s hands and feet. 

“Why are you doing this?” The man protested. He was answered by a short burst of laughter and a swift elbow to the jaw, before he slumped into unconsciousness. 

Enrende began removing the man’s boots and witnessed Eric’s struggle beside him. Eric - a smaller man than Enrende – held his knee into the back of another man, while holding him in an arm lock. Eric maintained dominance, but it was a stalemate for the loosening of the grip to reach for the rope, would render Eric powerless against his foe's struggles to free himself. 

“I have no coins,” pleaded the man. “I carry nothing of value.” 

Enrende stood over his opponent, moved towards Eric’s man and delivered a kick to the face. Finally all was silent."

The scene immediately comes to life and does more than just progress the story. It's a really important thing to consider.